Stiching my way through life. One stich over another and then cross stich. It's not easy, it's not right. Longing for something so much more, wishing I wasn't so scatterbrained.. because I just twist and turn.. I just keep making these mistakes.. and more and more. Languages keep mixing up and my brain sometimes falls apart. My heart is something I have set up.. set up for supposedly success.. yet it has failed time after time. And maybe I am just a wishful thinker, a dreamer, a seeker, a mourner, a selfish human being.. but that is my defect.. I am a human. I just stich up this messed up quilt with holes to cover me in the winter.. I keep stiching and stiching and nothing shows... nothing at all. My deepest thought I keep to myself for absurd reasoning and contempation of bettering myself and the world that I live in.. but the question is... what world do I live in? Keep stiching, cross stiching, crocheting, sewing and none work.. my fingers are swollen and I can't keep going.. and my legs are limp, and my back is broken, my heart is shredded, my brain is melted.. Just tear me up and please.. someone put me back together again, correctly this time. Becuase I keep trying to but there is something that never fits and something never works... I have missing pieces, many of them... heart, body, mind and soul. My words are what are left, but they don't come out correctly. They speek in 4 languages and my head is in default and my body in autopilot... some one please, stich me back together... someone please get me out of this blanket covered in holes... please.